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Carlene Tan Li Xuan
11th July 1988.
Currently 23+.
Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School,
SRJC (first 3 months),
TPJC, NUS FASS (econs).
loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.

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Tuesday, January 31, 2006

This is the "quan jia fu" on my dad's side.

ok.. i give up on trying to upload other pictures.. its taking way too long. surprisingly, this year didn't take a lot of pictures as compared to last year. =)

anwyays, this year's visiting was rather mundane except for the fact tt i get to waear clothes i'm comfortablte with. and i realise as the years pass, i'm getting more and more distant from my cousins. there's nearly nothing to talk about anymore. sad huh... ah wells.. alright.. i'm off to take songs from cheryl.. thank u cheryl for ur influx of songs.. =)

take care everyone!! and may u all have a wonderful blessed CNY.. take loads of ang bao and all the best to those gambling... =) may we all be in the pink of health this whole year. xi wang wo men cheng zi hui tu fei meng jing.. =) tata!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

i'm back!!! missed me everyone??? *grinz*

alright.. remember the last time i said vollyball was fun... i kinda erm... erm... said tt TOO early. the last SPE, which was erm last friday, the teacher made us run 5 rounds under 12 minutes as warm up, afterward we had some exercises which made everyone run around crazily.. then it was some individual exercise. we had to take a ball each lar, and u know, act smart me, went to pick the harder ball out of the 2(cos i thought the softer one couldn't bounce). i know, act smart. so i ended up with bruises all over my forearms. huo kai rite... sigh. ok...

this week is a really hectic week. trying to get back to the studying mood, getting stressed nearly every minute. badminton's at a funny arrangement with the new teacher. kinda want to comment on tt. mr.chew said something bout bad attitude within our members but i beg to differ.i mean if we really had attitude problems right, we wouldn't even turn up for training, or listen to what he says, and although most of us dislike him, i'm glad we all held our respect because he's still a teacher and an elder. =) but i was rather irritated with his arrangement today lar, kept complaining. bad me. alright. shall say no more. oh oh!! i ran 4 rounds today for training, nearly couldn't make it but with everyone's support, i made it!! =) hurts lar cramps. i will make sure that a week or so before the thing comes, i will abstain all cold stuff. urgh!! HATE cramps.

haven't talk to my bestest buddies for some time.. kinda miss talking to them.. alright.. i'm off now..

below is...
A poem by scruffy(specially for me) ^.^

its easy to laugh
yet easier to cry
a moment of emotional triumph
beyond the control of u and i
for every reason u live for
are the very reasons to die
id walk with u a thousand miles
and till we meet again in our other life
id be with u through ur joy and pain
to let u know ur cries are not in vain
to see the sun and cease the eye
for with u i know love is blind

really LOVE this poem... thank u doggie... =)

Friday, January 13, 2006

volleyball is fun!!! had spe today, volleyball is actuallly more fun than i expected.. =) the teacher's kinda strict but he's rather cute for an old man. haha... well, the hitting of the ball wasn't too bad lar, not TT pain. haha... my running deproved a lot though. hm...

had chem test too. it was horrible. really bad. felt super lousy after the test. don't even think i can secure 10 marks. tt's how bad. sigh. ah well.

went for training. felt kinda lazy to play but still played in the end. i ate 3 bao is total today lar. i teriyaki chicken pao and 2 chicken bao. tt makes my breakfast, recess and lunch. and for dinner, it was fish soup!! =)

oh ya ya, i forgot to say bout the most horrible chem practical i've ever experienced today. for once i wish i didn't have a nose. haha, did organic chem prac today, it was just demos by the teacher and after she did it, i kinda understood y it was a demonstration and not done ourselves. the smell was exhilerating. BAD. TERRIBLE. though i felt kinda light headed after the erm.. dunno wad experiment. but ya, super light headed. think i nearly fainted for a moment. but then, i'm strong rite, hehe.. so of course i didn't lar. couldn't concentrate the whole day, was just so exhausted. ah wells...

nothing to blog right now. feel kinda restless. don't know y. sometimes i wonder if i ask too much, and whether i'm being too demanding. i mean to me some stuff are just so minor, but to others it isn't. i guess this can only prove tt everyone has different manner of thinking huh. i think i'm pmsing now, cos i feel like crying. madness i tell u. haiya, whatever lar, don't wanna care so much anymore, just wanna get my studies straightened out and that's my ultimate goal for the year.

here's a little prayer for all whose sick and for all who've recovered. may u be blessed with good health from now onwards so we can all work hard to achieve our goals. And may we always be blessed with happiness in the simplest ways. =)

-my GP teacher asked me today. What's ur ideal world.
My answer?
As long as everyone have food to eat, tt's good enough. And even such a simple thing is not attainable in the world. how ironic huh... the rich getting richer and the poor, poorer. development to me may not result in everyone being happy because there'll be those left behind, but if we all could just live our life in the way we're accustomed to, then why change? just take the thai kids i was mingling around with, their life is so unbelievably simple, yet every smile they smile is so genuinely happy. In s'pore, getting material comfort is not a big problem for most of us, in fact, most of us get to fill our stomach's everyday, but we're constantly worried bout this, that, and so on. How many smiles of those in a day are genuine, are sincere, and how many of these rare smiles really show that we're happy for the bottom of our hearts. Comparing how the thai kids smile and how we smile, its really different. BUT, at LEAST we smile! =) at least we all aren't into the robotic face stage. tt's much of a relief. i do know however when with our friends, we never fail to smile sinverely. Thank goodness there're such thing as friends whom we know will be with us through thick and thin. and tt thought is already worth the sweetest smile 1 can ever give.
ok, i realise i'm getting a bit off track so i'll end here, just 1 last point. this is to my buddies and my dog. Thanks for never failing to make me smile a smile from deep within. and thanks for being there for me to cry my heart out. =) -

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

feeling happy. finally i see people moving on. i really wish something great happens out of it, it'll be a pity if such a great guy doesn't recieve an equally deserving girl. =) i guess i can let 1 stone out now, after so long i can finally stop being mean. =)

i'm ignorant of how to move on when i've been hurt,
maybe because i haven't.
i won't know how it feels like,
but i bet someday i will.
it must be crap to see someone u cherish so dearly move away,
it must be hard to watch them fall for someone else.
there're many things in life we can't stop,
like a broken heart or tears.
but there's something i know for sure,
that we should never cease to trust,
that we should never stop loving,
cos there's someone in the midst,
waiting just for us.
the longing to find that someone,
the longing for their love,
for their sincere concern and motivation,
we should never give up here.
so move on brave souls,
and leave the tears behind,
though the heart hurts often,
you know your decision's right.
don't turn to desperation,
don't become someone else,
don't think of anything,
to spite those who've hurt u now.
cos someday they'll know,
they've missed a wonderous chance,
to cherish someone,
who've treasured them so much.
so prove to them you're strong,
though it aches to see them go,
let the someone in the midst be ur guide,
let that someone be ur motivation,
let that someone be ur hope,
and someday be ur light.

*i really can't say how happy i am to see u move on, i think there're some stuff u should know, and that's that u're a really great person and u really do derserve someone better. pardon me for all the mean things i've said to u, and my crude treatment. i guess u wouldn't believe even if i say i kinda know how u feel quite some time ago, though i wasn't sure, and i didn't know how to push u away, so i thought being mean would do it, but i guess it didn't and u kinda took it hard. i just want u to know that you're a really great friend who'll always be there to help, to go that extra mile to make pple smile and be happy. don't ever look down on urself just because some things don't go ur way, and smile more, i think u look better when u smile. =) and just look forward and i'm sure u'll find what u want really soon. i look forward to talking like how we use to. take care!!*

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Well, orientation days are over, and you know, i found out at tuition last night that the J1s are recieving their results like pretty soon. say early feb? and they're going to their new schools by 2rd week of feb. so fast huh... which means we won't get to see them around school for long. kinda sad lar. orientation night was a blast, but i think the OGLs had more fun then the OGMs though.. haha. anyhow, my family, the rolling stones got best cheer award. way cool. must be our yi pa un dor ne ba bu li ah pa.. way cool i tell u tt cheer.

really enjoyed myself during the 4 days. hopefully the J1s had fun too. well its back to serious work from tomorrow on.

*you said this morning tt you're starting to lost trust in me more and more and soon, u'll ban me from everyting. u said i'm living in the shallow of my friends, doing things only when they do it. i give u my reasons but u choose not to believe so how can u say u're losing trust? shouldn't i be the one saying i'm starting to distrust u more becos u can't even accept the truth from ur daughter? you don't like me around the house, u keep saying my room is messy and tt i only want to go out and play. but the thing is, if my sis doesn't want to keep her area of the room tidy.. then what can i dO? its not like i haven told her ok. i have. you said i'm DAMN rude. well, i'm sure u're DAMN polite. i'm hurt by what u say. u side ur son ALL the time, tell him how sucky his sisters are and how not to be like us. u want us to stay home with u 24/7 and do nothing. man, just what do u want. u jump to conclusions in just a few words and start turning the house upside down and everyone has to tolerate ur nonsense. i really tried to understand u time and time again. and what's more, i'm not a disobedient child. i really do try to be ur IDEAL daughter but i'm not ok? i'm not as smart as my cousins, i'm not as hardworking, i'm not as helpful, but i'm not perfect. and u want to know why i'd much rather spend time with my friends then with u? its because they genuinely care bout how i feel and they're there to lend me a listening ear. u're only there for ur son. there mentally. i'm not saying i'm starving or living in poverty. but u never did care bout how we feel when u use those awfully mean words. and u don't give a damn. TT's y i'd much rather spend time in school and stay away from home as long as possible. u know how much i admire friends whose mothers are like sisters? the day i marry off, is porbably the day u're the happiest person on earth. y? cos u got rid of an irritatant. how i wish my mum would b like my nanny, who cried on the day of her daughter's wedding cos she couldn't bear to see her leave, yet she was happy tt her daughter had found happiness. but i dont think mine will be like tt. i would probably see the happiest smile ever on ur face the day i leave the house. well, its coming. in a few years. *

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

hey everyone!! thanks for ur concern.. i'm GOOD now.. as always, i can't stay sad for long.. otherwise its not carlene anymore rite?? =)

yup.. well, its a brand new school term, wonder how its gonna be like when lessons officially start cos well, i'm not sure i'm prepared at all. =( well, i'm an OGL now, so it feels odd leading J1s. i dunno why.. hm.. maybe cos i'm not an extrovert and i sorta prefer mingling with smaller groups.. kinda give u tt qing qie gan u know?? yup... but anyways, i think my group... even though the peeps r kinda shy.. they're rather cool when it comes to the activites... well, hope they warm up by 2mr.. oh oh !! and i really wanna learn this cheer.. its really cool... hehe...

yup... tt's all for me... last year was i guess... ok? but if i could, i'd love to change some stuff like getting tuition earlier, not procrastinating.. and many other stuff... maybe the outcome would've been better. i dunno... well.. i'm off!! take care!! and enjoy the brand new 2006....